Separation Anxiety

[atula]

Kids of any age do go through a stage when they miss their known environment and family...how do you think is the best way to make kids feel safe and secure in the daycare?

[tater03]

I think that you need to find that balance where you acknowledge what they are feeling but at the same time distract them somewhat to lesson what they are feeling. I mean you don't want to completely ignore that they are experiencing some anxiety.

[atula]

I remember my mom telling me how I was this huge cry baby when I was going to school...I would not sit in the class and keep crying for my mommy..ultimately she was called almost every day by the schoold authorities to help me adjust...I think it was all so new to me that I panicked at that age...Kids actually cannot express their feelings...so the daycare owner really has to be very very kind and smart in tackling this kind of issue.

[Lyndsey]

Originally Posted by tater03

I think that you need to find that balance where you acknowledge what they are feeling but at the same time distract them somewhat to lesson what they are feeling. I mean you don't want to completely ignore that they are experiencing some anxiety.

I think the parents' reaction matters too. If they seem upset and anxious, the child gets worse. They can help by making it seem very natural and casual and say they'll be back in a little while. They also know what distracts the kids. On my first day of kindergarten I was upset, until my mother pointed out the toy cat on the shelf.

[SageMother]

It helps to have some sort of morning routine, like the "morning circle" for those old enough to participate in little activities like a morning song and calender, or a story with a hand puppet for interest.

It would help distract the fearful newcomer and create a little structure when it is most needed.

[tater03]

I know my youngest son had some separation anxiety. The first day was awful when I left but by the time I picked up up he was fine. This went on for like 3-4 days and then he was fine.

[atula]

Originally Posted by Lyndsey

I think the parents' reaction matters too. If they seem upset and anxious, the child gets worse. They can help by making it seem very natural and casual and say they'll be back in a little while. They also know what distracts the kids. On my first day of kindergarten I was upset, until my mother pointed out the toy cat on the shelf.

I agree lyndsey...at this critical time if the parents react in a harsh way the child may get more scared....I think the preparation ha to start from home...like tellinh the kid that they will now be making lot of new friends and have fun the whole day with so many othe kids...things that will help them look forward to the time spend in the day care.

[SageMother]

Have you ever seen parents who seemed to encourage their child's anxiety?

What do you say to them to get them to let go of the child so he or she can adjust?

[atula]

I have seen plenty of parent who actually increase their child's anxiety by getting angry and irritated when the child does not want to leave them....I think before their child comes to the day care....it becomes essential for the daycare owner to speak to these parent to be a little more patient with their child and first understand why he is behaving in such a way.

[Laughingmouse]

Originally Posted by atula

I have seen plenty of parent who actually increase their child's anxiety by getting angry and irritated when the child does not want to leave them....I think before their child comes to the day care....it becomes essential for the daycare owner to speak to these parent to be a little more patient with their child and first understand why he is behaving in such a way.

I haven't seen angry parents encourage anxiety nearly as much as those parents who secretly want to keep the hcild dependent on them.

I have seen mothers who do this, especially if the child will probably be the last one they will have or their not having a small child in the home removes their reason to stay home all day. It usually happens at the elementary school's Head Start/ECE program, which is like a publicly funded daycare for ages 3 through 5.

On the first day, mom's will stay all day long, hovering over the child. They might even do this when the child enters kindergarten. They stay and cut the child's food, put the child's sweater on, or do other things that prevent the child's becoming self sufficient.